Teaching children how to behave around dogs

Most parents picture dog bites as something that happens with a stranger's dog, on a walk, out of nowhere. In reality, the dog most likely to be involved in an incident with a child is one the family already knows and loves — often the family's own. That's not a reason to worry, and it's certainly not a reason to think your dog is a risk. It's simply a reason to be deliberate about what you teach your children, rather than assuming good behaviour around dogs comes naturally.

Children and dogs communicate in completely different ways. A child's instinct is to hug, chase, shout with excitement, and get right up in a dog's face — all things that most dogs find unsettling rather than affectionate. A dog's instinct, when it feels cornered or worried, is to freeze, growl, or eventually snap, because that's how dogs have always resolved pressure they can't walk away from. Teaching children a handful of simple, consistent rules closes that gap, and it protects both your child and your dog.

None of this needs to be complicated or frightening for a child to learn. The advice below draws on guidance from UK veterinary and welfare charities, plus a peer-reviewed study of children's dog bite injuries, and it boils down to a few clear habits: give dogs space at the right moments, learn to read their body language, and always supervise.

Why teaching this matters more than most parents realise

A 2025 study of children's dog bite injuries treated at the emergency department of an English coastal hospital, published in the peer-reviewed literature, found that children in the first decade of life made up 63.4% of cases, and that the injuries were overwhelmingly domestic: 76.7% happened indoors, and 79.7% involved a dog the child already knew. Facial injuries were the single biggest category, at 51.2% of cases, and the study found a strong statistical link between facial injuries and dogs familiar to the child. In just under half of cases (44.2%), the researchers could identify clear provocation beforehand — meaning the incident wasn't random, but followed some kind of trigger a watchful adult might have spotted.

The RSPCA makes a similar point in its own guidance for families: children tend to treat dogs "as their peers" — hugging them, trying to pick them up, climbing on them — behaviour a dog can experience as threatening rather than friendly. Add in a young child's unpredictable movements and loud, sudden noises, and it's easy to see why the family dog, not an unfamiliar one, is so often the one involved.

None of this is a reason to be anxious about your dog and your children being close. It's a reason to actively teach the skills that keep both of them comfortable, rather than assuming everyone will muddle through.

Learning to read your dog's "whispers"

Dogs rarely go from calm to a bite with no warning. Before a growl or a snap, there's usually a string of quieter signals — dog trainers sometimes call these "whispers" — that show a dog is uncomfortable and would like space. Dogs Trust lists the signs parents should watch for:

• Moving away, turning the head aside, or leaning back
• Lip-licking and yawning outside of mealtimes or tiredness
• A tucked tail
• Furrowed brows and a tense, still face
• Looking around anxiously, as if searching for an exit

PDSA adds a few more to watch for: the whites of the eyes showing ("whale eye"), ears pinned back, panting or pacing when it isn't hot, and hiding or cowering. Any one of these, on its own, might mean nothing. Several together, especially around a child, are the dog's way of asking for space before things escalate.

A dog that is uncomfortable will almost always try to say so quietly first. Learning to notice those quiet signals — and teaching your children to notice them too — is one of the most protective things a family can do.

Make a game of it with older children: watching videos of dogs together and asking "does this dog look happy or worried?" builds the same skill adults use without thinking. Younger children won't reliably read these cues themselves yet, which is exactly why supervision matters more than teaching for the under-fives (more on ages below).

The ABC framework for family life

Dogs Trust promotes a simple three-part framework for children living with a dog, built around the letters A, B and C:

• Affection — well-meaning hugs and kisses can make a dog feel trapped rather than loved. Teach children to offer gentle strokes along the back or chest instead, which lets the dog choose whether to lean in or move away.
• Busy — dogs need to be left alone completely when they're eating, sleeping, resting, or absorbed in a toy or chew. This is one of the most common flashpoints for incidents, and it's an easy rule for even a very young child to grasp: "leave the dog be when the dog is busy."
• Choice — a dog should always be free to approach a child, and just as free to walk away without being followed, picked up, or cornered. Choice is what keeps an interaction something the dog is comfortable with, rather than something being done to it.

These three ideas cover the great majority of everyday situations at home, and they work as a shared family language — you can simply say "remember the ABCs" rather than a long list of separate rules every time.

House rules every child should know

Beyond the ABCs, both PDSA and the RSPCA set out a small number of very concrete, non-negotiable rules that are worth putting up on the fridge:

• Never approach or disturb a dog that is eating, chewing a treat, or asleep
• Never take a toy, bone, or chew away from a dog, even one they know well
• No hugging, kissing, or picking the dog up, however tempting
• No climbing on the dog, and no pulling ears, tail, or fur
• No putting faces right up close to a dog's face
• No screaming, running, or chasing games that overexcite a dog
• Always throw treats onto the ground for a dog to take, rather than holding them out by hand, particularly with a dog the child doesn't know well
• If the dog moves away or freezes when petted, that's the dog saying "stop" — respect it immediately

PDSA is also clear that consent should run both ways: encourage your child to let the dog choose to come to them, rather than chasing the dog down for a cuddle. If the dog approaches, relaxed and perhaps nudging for attention, that's an invitation. If it doesn't, that's an answer too.

Age by age: what to expect and allow

Very young children — roughly under school age — cannot reliably learn or apply rules under excitement, and this is the group involved in the largest share of incidents, according to the emergency department study above. For this age group, the goal isn't teaching so much as management: physical separation using stair gates, playpens, or simply a closed door whenever you can't give full attention, and no unsupervised floor time with the dog, ever, even for "just a minute."

Primary-school-age children can start learning the ABCs properly, practising gentle strokes, recognising a handful of the clearest warning signs (moving away, tucked tail, stiff body), and understanding the "busy" rule around food and sleep. They still need supervision for every interaction — the rules are being learned, not yet reliably applied under excitement.

Older children and pre-teens can take on more responsibility: helping with calm training games, learning to read subtler body language, and understanding why a nervous dog at the park needs space even if it looks "friendly" to them. Even so, unsupervised time with any dog is best avoided until you're confident, from repeated calm observation, that both child and dog are relaxed together.

The "stay close, step in, separate" approach

For the practical business of supervising, Dogs Trust recommends a three-step approach that's easy to keep in mind even with several other things going on at once:

1. Stay close and pay attention — position yourself so you can see both your child and your dog, and watch for early warning signs from either of them, not just the dramatic ones. 2. Step in early — if you spot a whisper-level warning sign, or a child doing something risky, calmly redirect the child or move the dog, before either escalates. 3. Separate if you get distracted or can't maintain full attention — a baby gate, a crate the dog is happy in, or simply a different room. Giving the dog a treat or a chew as you separate them helps them experience it as a positive break, not a punishment.

The point of this approach is that supervision isn't a single decision you make once ("we're a dog-safe household") — it's a habit you repeat dozens of times a day, especially in the first months of a new dog, baby, or toddler joining the household.

Meeting dogs outside your own home

The rules change slightly once you're out and about, because you don't know the other dog's history, temperament, or tolerance for children.

• Always ask the owner before your child approaches, and wait for a clear yes
• Approach calmly, without running, and let the dog choose to sniff an offered, relaxed hand rather than reaching for its head
• Never approach a dog that's tied up outside a shop, in a car, or behind a fence — dogs in these situations are often more anxious and defensive
• Teach your child that a wagging tail doesn't always mean a friendly dog — a stiff, high, fast wag can just as easily signal arousal or discomfort as a loose, low, relaxed wag signals genuine friendliness

This is also worth applying to visiting family and friends' dogs. A dog that's perfectly relaxed in its usual home routine can become anxious with an unfamiliar, excitable child suddenly in its space, so the same "ask first, approach calmly, let the dog choose" rules apply everywhere, not just with strangers' dogs on the street.

If a dog scares your child: "become a tree", "become a stone"

However careful a family is, children do sometimes encounter a dog — off lead, overexcited, or simply unfamiliar — that behaves in a way that frightens them. The Royal Kennel Club teaches two simple physical responses that are well worth practising at home until they're automatic, because a frightened child rarely remembers new instructions in the moment.

Become a tree, used if a dog is jumping up, barking, or generally overexcited around your child: stand completely still, fold the arms in against the chest, tuck the chin down, and stay silent and motionless — no shouting, no running, no eye contact. Running or screaming is very likely to be read by the dog as a game and encourage more chasing, so stillness and silence are the safest response. Once the dog loses interest and moves off, the child should walk away slowly and calmly, and find an adult.

Become a stone, used if a child has been knocked to the ground: curl into a tight ball on the front, knees pulled up, hands covering the face and neck, and stay still and quiet until the dog moves away.

Both techniques rely on the same principle behind the "be a tree" method promoted across UK dog welfare education: stillness and silence are far less interesting to a dog than movement and noise, and they buy time for an adult to step in.

Common mistakes even careful parents make

• Assuming the family dog is the safe one. As the injury data above shows, familiarity is exactly what tends to be involved, not a protection against it.
• Allowing rough play, wrestling, or chase games "because the dog loves it." Even dogs that appear to enjoy rough play can tip from excited into overwhelmed very quickly, and a young child can't reliably spot the difference.
• Forcing a photo or cuddle "just for a second." A single tolerated interaction that the dog didn't choose is still a small stress event, and repeated often enough, it adds up.
• Leaving the room "just to grab something." Most of the incidents in the emergency department study happened at home; a few unsupervised minutes is genuinely enough time for things to go wrong.
• Not correcting a child's over-friendly greeting with strangers' dogs. Politely intervening every single time protects your child around dogs you'll never get a second chance to assess.

When to get help from a vet or a behaviourist

If your dog is regularly showing the stress "whispers" described above around your children — persistent lip-licking, avoidance, stiffening, or growling — treat that as useful information rather than something to punish. Growling in particular is a warning you want your dog to feel safe giving, not something to suppress, because a dog discouraged from growling can skip straight to a bite next time. Speak to your vet first to rule out pain or illness as a cause of the irritability, since discomfort very often lowers a dog's tolerance for handling. Your vet can then refer you to a clinical animal behaviourist if the issue continues. If a bite does happen, however minor it looks, get the wound assessed by a GP or, for a child, at A&E, and speak to your vet about the dog's behaviour separately — the two conversations shouldn't be one and the same.

*This is general guidance, not a substitute for advice from your vet, who can assess your individual pet.*

Sources

• Dogs Trust — dog and child safety, the ABCs and warning-sign guidance (dogstrust.org.uk).
• PDSA — children and dogs, safety rules and signs of discomfort (pdsa.org.uk).
• RSPCA — children and dogs living together safely (rspca.org.uk).
• Royal Kennel Club — training dogs and children to behave safely together, including "become a tree" and "become a stone" (royalkennelclub.com).
• Peer-reviewed study, "Burden of Paediatric Dog Bite Injuries on the Emergency Department of an English Coastal Town" (PMC, ncbi.nlm.nih.gov).